panic

2:45 p.m ng magronda ang mga tanod, malapit na daw maabot ang panic level ng tubig sa Marikina river. Nagpanic ang lahat sa bahay at within 10 minutes ay napanhik na nila sa taas ang lahat ng gamit na dapat maisalba. Daig nga naman ng maagap ang masikap at mahirap magpundar ulit ng gamit. Sa gitna ng kaguluhanay ako naman ay busy sa pagdanload ng porn at pagtataas sa pinakamataas ng kabinet ng mga appliances ko, maliban sa computer na nagdadownload pa ng porn.

Sa loob loob ko wala pa namang ni katiting na tubig sa kalsada at bukod doon ang hina ng ulan, iba ang ulan noong during Ondoy , parang mga maliliit na bato ang bagsak ng ulan noon at walang humpay ang ulan. Ang nakakatawa pa ay sa katapat na kapitbahay lang kami tatakbo dahil may 3rd floor sila, yung kapitbahay naman namin sa laft side ay hindi pa tapos ang fourth floor panic room na pinagagawa. Nagka adrenaline rush ang lahat sa bahay maliban sa akin.

At ng ready ang lahat kay mother nature ay biglaang huminto ang ulan.

- Daniel hindi concern citizen ng Provident Village Marikina River.

pledge

Above is one of my weird artwork after Ondoy it vanished, but I was able to take a picture of it a year before the flood. I made that sketch way back in 2007. Sayang I wasn't able to take a picture of all of my better artworks, they just simply vanished after the flood.

" Suskopo! Anu yan? " The reaction of my tita when she saw this sketch.

Maybe she doesn't understand whats going on inside an artist's mind, but I totally understand, on the other hand she and everyone in our family likes it very much when I draw nice things such as fairies and unicorns Lol!.

unsaid....
Here I am starting a new phase of my life, things had been really difficult lately, theres a lot of reason why I shouldn't be happy, but somehow I manged get by.
I'll start here, here at this moment. I am by the way, very bothered, very unhappy, very unhealthy, very lonely person. I am turning 30 this year, but I am staying positive that the rest of this year will be a year of change, it would be really difficult but i'll take every single step, no matter how hard it is. my goal is to achieve and figure out what happiness is.

angels cry

Innocence is a term that describes the lack of guilt of an individual, with respect to a crime. It may also be used to indicate a general lack of guilt, with respect to any kind of crime, sin, or wrongdoing. Its antonym is corruption.
It can also refer to a state of unknowing, where one's experience is lesser, in either a relative view to social peers, or by an absolute comparison to a more common normative scale

Bagong Silang, Camarines Norte.

I was very little then i'm about 4-5 years old or younger..I can still remember what horror that happened that afternoon one summer day. I have a playmate that I usually visit daily. He was my bestfriend at that time and we would play with marbles and cheap plastic toys.

Since I was very young here are the fragments of that horrible moment that I would never forget for the rest of my life.

Naglalaro kami sa Garahe nila. May bibilhin ang yaya niya sa harapan tindahan.
Nasa gilid lang ng Maharlika highway ang bahay nila habang kailangan mo pang tumawid ng highway para makarating sa tindahan.

Hindi ko masyadong matandaan kung sinabihan ko ang kaibigan ko na sundan niya ang yaya niya at magpabili ng Plastic na laruan, or parang sumang-ayon ata ako sa kanya na sundan niya yung yaya niya sa tindahan. either of the two, I was really young to remember the exact details.

Tumakbo siya upang sundan si yaya.
Habang akoy naiwang naglalaro.

Sa isang iglap..wala na siya.

Nasagasaan ng Jeep.

Naalala ko pa habang karga-karga siya ng isang lalaki, Puro dugo. Hindi ko pa alam ang salitang Patay noon.

Andun ako lagi nung burol niya. Naglalaro sa gilid ng kabaong niya..mag-isa.
Dear friend..I was very young then. I didnt know whats right from wrong.
Wherever you are. I'm sorry. I'm not really sure if I have contributed to your death since I cant remember the exact details.

Hindi ka nawawala sa isip ko. You still haunt me from time to time.
I feel like a criminal, an innocent criminal. Please forgive me my friend.

Dear God please forgive me.
Dear God please forgive me.
Dear God please forgive me.

secret garden

It's funny that within a click everything vanishes, like my old room which I consider my shell, my hideaway, the only space which gives me peace of mind, the place were I find protection from the realities and harshness of the outside world. After Ondoy it took me a very long time to re built my sanctuary. ( Above are the pictures of my old room )- I love wooden antiques and all sorts of classy relics.

u gotta be kiddin' me

I found out that I have kidney stones ( 2-3 mm ), marami at kasing size ng grain ng buhangin.

At first nakinig ako sa mga kuro-kuro na it might be hangin sa intestines then the time came that I cannot tolerate the pain anymore I decided to go to the doctor, Utrasound then back to the doctor for the result.

" You have stones on your left kidney " The doctor gently break it to me upon reading the result.

I went blank at that point.

" You would need to diet specially on protein rich food, sweet food, salty food...."

Sa haba ng list ng mga pagkaing bawal sa akin ay lalo akong namutla.

Funny that the list includes all forms of meat, asparagus, cauliflower, berries, tomato, spinach, oatmeal, all form of seafood and the list goes on and on till the break of dawn.

" Don't panic you can still eat them but in very small amount and drink plenty of water as much as you can. "

You gotta be sooo fucking kidding ang paulit-ulit na bigkas ko sa aking ulo.

Of course hindi ako pwedeng magmura sa harapan ni doc.

Funny thing is until now ay kinakain ko parin ang mga bawal sa akin in reasonable amounts, ang tigas talaga ng ulo ko.

You gotta be kidding me, me? I need to diet I am 5'7 and only 96 lbs, wala pang 100 lbs that means that I am super abnormal. Hindi ako magda-diet ayokong magka-ulcer lalo na sa lakas kong manigarilyo.

" It is highly possible kaya pabalik-balik ang UTI mo ay sa diet mo at saka when the stones passto your penis ay nagagasgas ang etits mo kaya nagkakaroon ng infections. "

That explains the sharp pain sa ari ko.

Pasalamat narin ako na hindi nako kailangang operahan.

Pero hindi maalis sa sarili ko ang laging pagbigkas ng mga katagang...

" You gotta be kidding me! " Tuwing makakakita ng mga putaheng lagi kong laging nilalantakan.