u gotta be kiddin' me

I found out that I have kidney stones ( 2-3 mm ), marami at kasing size ng grain ng buhangin.

At first nakinig ako sa mga kuro-kuro na it might be hangin sa intestines then the time came that I cannot tolerate the pain anymore I decided to go to the doctor, Utrasound then back to the doctor for the result.

" You have stones on your left kidney " The doctor gently break it to me upon reading the result.

I went blank at that point.

" You would need to diet specially on protein rich food, sweet food, salty food...."

Sa haba ng list ng mga pagkaing bawal sa akin ay lalo akong namutla.

Funny that the list includes all forms of meat, asparagus, cauliflower, berries, tomato, spinach, oatmeal, all form of seafood and the list goes on and on till the break of dawn.

" Don't panic you can still eat them but in very small amount and drink plenty of water as much as you can. "

You gotta be sooo fucking kidding ang paulit-ulit na bigkas ko sa aking ulo.

Of course hindi ako pwedeng magmura sa harapan ni doc.

Funny thing is until now ay kinakain ko parin ang mga bawal sa akin in reasonable amounts, ang tigas talaga ng ulo ko.

You gotta be kidding me, me? I need to diet I am 5'7 and only 96 lbs, wala pang 100 lbs that means that I am super abnormal. Hindi ako magda-diet ayokong magka-ulcer lalo na sa lakas kong manigarilyo.

" It is highly possible kaya pabalik-balik ang UTI mo ay sa diet mo at saka when the stones passto your penis ay nagagasgas ang etits mo kaya nagkakaroon ng infections. "

That explains the sharp pain sa ari ko.

Pasalamat narin ako na hindi nako kailangang operahan.

Pero hindi maalis sa sarili ko ang laging pagbigkas ng mga katagang...

" You gotta be kidding me! " Tuwing makakakita ng mga putaheng lagi kong laging nilalantakan.