aquamarine

The year will end really soon. This year has been a roller coaster, lots of hard times. This year has been very unfulfilling when it comes all aspects of my life specially my health who greatly suffered. I currently have two complications one with my balls and one with my butt hole ( seriously ) But instead of fearing for my life, I really don't mind it. The element that almost killed me which is water will also the only element that could cure me. That's why I always drink plenty of water as much as possible. My life have been miserable without soda but I'm getting used to it. The very first thing that I would do at the start of this coming year is to look for a job. to sustain my medical expenses. Love life? It could wait for another year or for another century. First things first. I will avoid Vampires because Vampires suck good energy and I'm really not the emotional type. Never was, never will. No matter what hardship that comes to my way, I will prepare and fight.

My new best friend is water. Water nourishes your body, Water cures.
I have already forgiven myself for the wrong decisions that I made this year.
I have already forgiven anyone who did me wrong this year.
And for anyone to completely move forward. One must learn to forgive whole heartedly.
One must learn to love themselves for others to love them. I'm ready to soar.

my amateur art works part eight

Pisces!

my amateur art works part seven

Angels and Demons. Para sa question ni Doc na, kung saan ko kinukuha ang inspiration ko? Wala lang, bunga lang sila ng matindi kong imagination. Wala akong pinagkopyahan hehe. It's original.

my amateur art works part five- b

Top: Modern Aswang. Bottom: Snake Woman.

astig

Ito ang kuwento ni Boy Astig.
Si Boy Astig ay matapang at walang pakialam sa mundo. Hilig ni Boy Astig na magsulo, katulad ng manood ng sine mag-isa at Magfoodtrip ng walang kasalo, hindi niya kasi trip na maistorbo o makinig sa mga keme at problema ng ibang tao. Sabihin nalang natin na masyado siyang unatached sa mga bagay bagay o pangyayari sa paligid niya. He's too cool to care.

Isang araw, bigla nalang tinopak si Boy Astig at napagtripan niyang mag out of town magisa. Tagaytay? Subic? Bataan? Hmmm... Magtrip kaya ako sa Batangas?. Pagkatapos magimpake ay diretso si Boy Astig sa bus terminal. Pagdating niya sa Batangas ay agaran itong nagtanong sa mga locals, kung saan ang pinakamalapit na resort. Agad naman siyang nakakuha ng makatarungang sagot.

8:00 pm na nakarating si Boy Astig sa liblib na resort. Pagdating niya rito ay winelcome siya ng mga askal na gala sa resort. Out of the darkness ay lumabas ang caretaker ng resort. Pinili ni Boy Astig ang hut na pinaka isolated at malayo. As if naman may ibang tao sa resort. After tumuloy ay umorder muna si Boy Astig ng ilang bote ng beer sa caretaker. " Redhorse sold here!"- Ang karatula sa kubo ni Caretaker. Hanep.

Pagkaabot ng susi ng caretaker slash tindero ay dumeretso na si Boy Astig sa cottage #14. "Pagkalayo layo naman nito!"Pero "Asteeg". Pagkabukas ni Boy Astig ng pintuan ay bumungad sa kaniya ang hindi ka aya aya interior ng hut. "What the fuck!" Ang wika ni Boy Astig. Inilapag ang backpack at nakaplastik na beer at sabay bukas ng mga bintana. Pasalamat narin si Boy Astig sa kulambo na nasa gilid ng kama. Malapit sa pangpang ng dagat ang kubo ngunit mediyo malayo sa ibang kubo. Inilabas ni Boy Astig ang Marijuana at sabay inum narin ng strong beer.

Nagtampisaw sa dagat si Boy Astig sa kabilugan ng buwan, kasabay nito ang paghiga niya sa buhangin, tanaw ang mga bituin, habang sa umiinum ng alak at humihithit ng Maryjane. Pagkatapos mabangag ay diretso pasok sa kubo si kumpare upang Umebak. Umipo sa makipot na inidoro si Boy Astig, habang humihithit ng Doo Bee ay Pinatugtog niya rin ang phone niya. " No woman No cry" Sumasabay sa pagkanta si Boy Astig, malakas ang boses niya na walang pakialam kung nasa tono siya. Kung meron ibang turista sa resort ay nagreklamo na ang mga ito.

Pagkatapos maubos ni Boy Astig ang joint ng Maryjane ay tumayo siya.
Itatapon niya ang natirang papel ng joint sa maliit na bintana na nasa ibabaw ng inidoro.

Inilabas ni Boy Astig ang kamay niya sa bintana ng biglaang...
May maitim, mabuhok na kamay na may mahahabang kuko na humipo sa kamay niya.
Kitang kita ito ni Boy Astig ang kamay. Halos lumuwa ang mga mata niya sa nakita.
Imbis na magsisigaw ng parang isang batang babae ay agaran niyang sinuot ang boxers niya, ng walang hugas-hugas at nagtatakbo papatungo sa hut ng caretaker.

Caretaker: Anong problema, nakatapak kaba ng Tae? Nangangamoy tae.
Boy Astig: Samahan niyo po ako, kukunin ko lang mga gamit ko.

Astig! Diba?

my amateur art works part five

Left: "Mambabarang". Middle: "Pareng pugot ang ulo". Right: "Tik-Tik".

my amateur art works part four

[Top]: Nuno sa Punso
[Middle]: Vampire
[Bottom]: Kapre

monkey versus bankee

Plant: Titirahin ko ba to? Hindi naman siya Zombie, Parang mas mukha pa siyang bayawak.
Bangkee: Lazeeeng nako!..Hmmm..ang cute nitong halaman nato' bilog na bilog ang Nguso! Maipasok nga ang **** sa bibig niya.
Plant: Burp! Grabe, di ko pa nadidigest yung ungoy na kinain ko kanina. Mukhang buhay pa!
*Lumabas ang ungoy sa bunganga ng plant.
Bankee: Halaman ba ito?..O, Ungoy?..Shet, laseng na talaga ako!
Ungoy na plant: Takut aku..agigigigig!
See more of Roy Perry CLICK THIS!
Kumalat ang Chismis sa mga Zombie na magaling sumubo ang Ungoy Plant. Kaya naman, dagsa ang isang batalyong Malibog na Zombies.

just my imagination

Mangangarap kanalang, lubos-lubusin mo na, ang wildest dream ko:
Maging kasing yaman ni Bill Gates, Magpa retoke hangang maging kamukha
si Wentworth Miller. Magpapagawa ako ng Palasiyo na malayo sa city, siguro sa France or United Kingdom, siyempre kumpleto ang palasiyo ko, May
Giant videoke room, Theatre, Bar, indoor pool, Spa, Parlor
Orgy room, lahat ng klase ng room. Magaalaga ako ng dalawang Panther na papangalanan ko ng killer at congressman, Dalawang Python na papangalanan ko nang Britney at Marian
at Isang Alakdan na papangalanan ko naman ng Madonna. Maraming maraming bling bling, Truck truck na designer clothes. Mga high-tech gadgets. Gusto ko rin nang isang dosenang
itim na kabayo dahil gusto ko lang, Ilan sa ipapangalan ko dito ay Roderick, Vice,Swarding, She-Ra at Mariah.( Hindi dahil sa mukhang kabayo si Mariah )
May friend kasi ako nung college na inis na inis Kay Mariah at mukha daw Kabayong Pumipito at dahil ubod ako ng yaman ay magpa-publish rin ako ng libro na puro kabastusan, Libro na walang sense at isa pang libro na tungkol sa kung gaano ka-Ipokrito ang mga tao.Gusto kong magkaroon nang music album, maski isang hit single lang at isang matinding music video.

my amateur art works part three

Pacenxia na po kayo at puro drawings ang nga post ko recently hehe : )

Top : "Hot twin duwendes"
Middle: "Gender Condused Fairy"
Bottom: "Three man: Lalaking tuod"

my amateur art works part two

White Ladies Galore!

my amateur art works part one

Picture 1 (left); "Double Ganger". Picture 2 (right); "The Exorcism of Kendra".
- Sobrang tiny ng artwork nato, kaya ganyan, panget haha!

i dare you

Walang akong kinatatakutan horror movie or show. Nakatulog nga ako nung pinanood ko yung the exorcist, Tawa naman ako ng tawa nung pinanood ko yung Patayin sa sindak si Barbara, I find horror highly entertaining but not really scary. Itong show nato ang nakapag-pa Paranoid sa akin. Aaminin kong nakakatakot ako everytime I watch this show late at night, Specially yung episode na " Where Demons Dwell " at "A Haunting in Connecticut " The best itong show na ito, walang makakatalo. Walang sinabi yung Undin at fashion statement ni Manilyn Reynes sa Shake Rattle and Roll.Give it a try and I'll bet magbabago pananaw niyo sa buhay.
" A haunting " by Discovery channel is a chills-filled series, chronicling the terrifying true stories of the paranormal told by those who experienced real-life horror tales.

winehorse

Isa sa tatlong ito ay nagpapangap na si Amy Winehorse,este Winehouse. Idol ko si Amy dahil bukod sa mukha siyang kabayo ay isa rin siyang addict.

ninja

I'm Daniel the Tikbalang slayer......
Daniel: Tang In*ng kabayo to ah!
Kabayo: Tang In* mo rin!
*Tinadyakan ni Daniel ang Nguso ng Kabayo*Kinarate chop ni Daniel ang Betl*g ng Kabayo.*At pagkatapos ay Finire ball niya ang ITL*G nito.

Ayun sumabog yung itlog ng kabayo.

ladies room

Nangyari ang insidenteng ito sa huling callcenter na pinangalingan ko.

Training namin noon. After one of our 15 minute breaks, karamihan sa mga ka-wave mates namin ay nasa training room na including me. Biglaang pumasok ang dalawang babaeng wavemates ko ang isa ay namumutla, ang isa naman ay dimawari ang hitsura kung nakangiti o kinakabahan.

Nanahimik ang lahat at napatingin sa kanila.

"Shet guys! Minumulto kami! Yung mga faucete sa Cr bumubukas magisa!"

"Baka naman nagloloko lang yung pipeline!" Sigaw ng isa.

"Nagloloko ang pipeline, kitang kita naming umiikot yung knob ng faucet"
- Dalawa daw silang nakakita.

- Along the way daw papabalik ng training room ay nakasalubong nila si lady guard.
At bago pa daw nila masabi kay lady guard ang ditalye ay naunahan na sila;

"Bumubukas ba mag isa yung mga faucet?"

Q1: Totoo ba ito? Or tamang singhot lang ng magic sugar ang dalawang bilat?
Q2: May kinalaman ba si Lady guard?

Madalas pa naman akong mag-finger during breaks malapit sa Cr na yun'.

( Mangulangot..ikaw talaga kung ano-anong iniisip mo )

boarding house

1964 Labo, Camarines Norte.

Nagtrip ang tatlong magkakaibigan: pawang freshmen pa ang magkakaklase sa hayskul, Isang mainit na tanghali ng napagdiskitahan ng tatlong dalagita na maglaro ng spirit of the glass sa second floor ng isang lumang boarding house, 1964 at marahil hindi na nakatayo ang boarding house sa kasalukuyan. Ayon sa source ay bakante ang second floor ng boarding house, ang first floor lang ang may mga nangungupahan. Wala sa tatlo ang nangungupahan dito at nagpaalam lang sila sa may-ari na titingnan lang ang lugar,

Nagsimula na ang pagtritrip ng tatlong dalagita na sina Marnie, Evelyn at Myrna. Sa una ay suwabe ang laro, nagtatawanan pa ang tatlo dahil ang akala nila ay isa sa kanila ang nagtritrip na namumuno sa pagalaw ng baso, pawang mga patay ma tao ang binabangit ng board, nagtatawanan pa ito dahil it's either sa kanila o lahat sila ay kilala sa mga pangalang binabangit ng board.

"Ay kilala ko yan"
"Ay ako rin"

Nagtatawanan pa ang mga magkakaibigan.

Biglaang bumilis ang pagikot ng baso.

"Aggressibo ang pagikot ng baso, kakaiba halos maiwanan na ang mga daliri namin"

Inisip parin nila na isa sa kanila ang gumagawa nito.

S-A-T-A-N; ang huling inispel ng ng laruan nila.

Napahinto at nagtinginan ang tatlo.

Sa mga sandaling iyon ay malamang na natangal ang mga ngiti sa mga mukha nila.

Biglaang bumulusok ang baso diretso sa sahig.

Nabasag ito.

Diretso takbo ang tatlo papalabas ng lumang boarding house.

Isa sa tatlong dalagitang nabangit ay ang taong nagbigay buhay sa akin.

the unseen

Seven months ago. Ininvite kami ni ex-officemate na maginuman sa kanila. Liblib ang lugar, isang subdivision sa Antipolo. Tanghaling tapat ng makarating kami doon kasama ang iba ko pang officemates. Luma at malaki ang bahay, malawak ang bakuran. Ang likod ng bahay ay bundok, maraming naglalakihang puno. Wi-nelcome kami ni officemate, nagsipasukan na lahat at ako ang huling papasok sa pinto. Nahilo ako bigla at nanlamig, Kinutuban rin ako na parang maymukha na nakaharap sa mukha ko, I felt weirdly intimidated at that time, its soo overpowering, ngunit pumasok parin ako ng bahay. "Hoy ano pang tinatayo tayo mo diyan pasok na!".Wika ni officemate.
Maski na nahihilo at weird ang pakiramdam ay huminga nalang ako ng malalim sabay diretso pasok.

Mga 7 kaming lahat. Malaki ang sala at relax na relax kami nagchichillout sa sala. Nanlilikot ang mata ko at mabilis ang kabog ng dibdib. "Hoy anong nangyayari sayo? Naka-drugs ka naman ba? Tulala ka na naman!" Tapik sakin ng katabi ko sabay tawa. Habang hard ang iniinum nila ay nag-Sanmig light lang ako. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan kung bakit bigla akong nahilo bagopumasok ng bahay. Kumain naman ako bago umalis sa amin.

Pag-katapos kong pagdasalan ang isang boteng sanmig, mga 2 oras mula ng arrival namin sa place. Ay may naamoy ako.

Amoy bulok na karne, amoy naagnas.

Hindi ako mapakali at habang nagkakatuwaan ang mga officemates ko ay siniko ko ang katabi kong babaeng officemate. Bumulong ako sa kaniya.

"Wala kabang naamoy na mabaho"

"Wala ang bango nga dito eh amoy lysol"

Malinaw na walang nakakaamoy noon kung hindi ako lang. Tuloy parin lahat sila, samantalang ako ay sukangsuka na sa amoy na hindi ko mawari kung saan nangangaling.

Nawala ang amoy ng saglit at ngunit bumabalikbalik ito.

Hindi ko na ito natiis,

Nag-Excuse ako sa may-ari ng bahay, "Pahangin lang ako sa labas" ang wika ko.

Nagpaalam akong magpapahangin lang sa labas.
Ngunit didiretso na ako pauwi.

Mga 4:00 na nangtanghali, malayo ang main road sa bahay nila,mainit at tirik ang araw.
Biglang nanlamig ang katawan ko at nagsuka ako ng nagsuka sa kalsada.

Naamoy ko parin ang nabubulok. Parang sinusundan ako nito. Pagsakay ko ng jeepney ay nawala ang amoy at guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko, nakahinga ako ng maayos.

2 weeks after the incident, Muli ko ulit nakasama ang mayari ng bahay, ang venue naman namin ay isang bar dito sa Marikina.

Napasin nila na malakas akong uminom.

Tinatanong nila sakin kung bakit ako biglaang umalis ng hindi nagpapalam nung huli naming inuman, sabi ko may emergency kaya hindi nako nagpaalam ng maayos.

Tinanong ko na si officemate? ( owner of the house )

Is there something in your house?

Sumagot siya ng diretso:

Actually, yung tita kong nabaliw ang nakatira doon dati. Nagpakamatay siya dun' at 13 days bago may nakatuklas sa nabubulok niyang katawan.

I am not assuming na may naramdaman akong paranormal at that time. Until know I am trying to figure out what happened to me at that point, I am aslo seeking logical explanation. Not assuming that it is somewhat related to the death of his aunt. And no! I did not poop in my pants kung kaya ako sinundan nung amoy na iyon.

one year ago

Eksaktong isang taon na ang nakakalipas, nang muntik ng kitilin ni Ondoy ang buhay ko at ng aking buong pamiliya. Milagrong nakaligtas kami. Sa isang iglap ay nawala rin lahat ng aking mga gamit na pinundar, ngunit ako'y masaya dahil buhay pa ako at hinding hindi mapapaltan ang buhay, iisa lang ang buhay. I took that photo about two months before Ondoy. I still live here in Provident village.

Anyhoot naterminate ako nung friday, last day ng training namin. Naterminate ako dahil sobrang baba scores ng quizes ko at bagsak ako sa final mock call dahil nahirapan ako sa pag inavigate nung system. Imbis na malungkot ako at umiyak ng natangal ako ay parang nasiyahan pa ako. Kaya lang naman kasi ako nandoon ay pinuwersa ko lang ang sarili ko para magkapera. Wala ang puso't diwa ko sa pagiging callcenter agent, pera lang talaga ang iniisip ko. Tama na, ayaw ko na, ibang linya nalang ng work ang sususbukan ko. For now rest muna ako one month to figure things out.
Hopefully i'll figure something out.

co-trainee: " Wagkamuna magpa-clearance. Hintayin mo na muna yung training allowance mo! Baka kasi hindi nila i-release."

Shet buti nalang at ni remind sakin ni co-trainee. Pera na baka maging bato pa.

Narealize ko na it's not how much that you earn that makes you happy. Kasi dati isa lang ang happiness sakin ang magkaroon ng maraming pera at kaingitan ng marami. Pero mahirap magkaroon ng maraming pera at para makuha ito ay kailangan kong maghirap magtrabaho sa linyang hindi ko gusto at hindi ko kayang tugunan at upang maging tunay na msaya ay kailangan maging masaya sa ginadawa mo. I have 1 month to figure things out.
As of the moment I am very happy, lots of time tumunganga.

umbrella ( eh eh ellaah )

Daniel agent: So hows the weather there Mr. Smith?
Mr Smith: I'm under the weather
daniel agent: Great to hear that ur under the weather! Do u have a paper and umbrella handy here's the new code for ur phone.
Mr smith: What the hell are you talking about?
Daniel agent: Oh sorry for that, what I meant was a pen and paper.

Tatlong tasang kape ang nainom ko noong shift nayun

Mr Smith: I wanna speak to ur supervisor right now!
Daniel agent: My supervisor is currently on a meeting.
Mr Smith: I dont care tranfer me to him.
Daniel agent: I'll just put you on hold for a minute or two while I'm trying to connect to my supervisor. Would that be okay Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith: No! Fuck You Indians!

tooot..toot...toot

*Mr. Smith hung up, I bet hes really under the weather.

ring leader

Masaya ang training so far, leader mode.

Sige at dahil walang gustong maging leader mag mani-obra ako.

Ikaw gawin mo to.

Ikaw gawin mo yan.

Effective pala akong leader at wala kaming ginawa ng mga kagrupo kong mababait kundi mag-tawanan, samantalang nagkakagulo na ang ibang grupo, lumalabas na ang may mga attitude problem.

Nagkakagulo gulo na sila, siraan dito siraan diyan, bahala kayo basta grupo namin peaceful and fun.

May mga nangahas na lapastanganin ako, walang nagtagumpay, dahil isang irap ko lang keeps them at bay. Antipatikong tipakolong ang project ko and guess what it works!

Bilis ng utak when it comes sa mga pakulo and I have this feeling that I would do good sa linya ng advertising. I'm planning to have a small business someday, papangalanan ko itong...

"ELLOW PAO SIOPAO"

Ako ang laging gumagawa ng mga slogan sa mga group activities, our trainor finds my work disturbing and pervertive.

It was originally fire in the hole daugnuts. pero masyado daw masagwa sabi ng mga kagrupo ko kaya ayan pizza nalang.

Hindi seryoso ang mga artworks ko jan sa mga slogan, ginagago ko lang para mabawasan ang stress at boredom.

call boy

One of my calls during my previous job.
[ hobofoot ]: I wanna speak to someone who understands english! Transfer me now! You don't even speak english you Mother fucker!
[ daniel ]: Fuck you white trash! You don't even speak tagalog!
*Yun sana ang sasabihin ko pero nakapagpigil pa ako, pero ito ang sinabi ko...
[ daniel ]: I do apologize for the misunderstanding, Let me transfer you to our site in India. Thank you and have a great weekend!.
* Pak, release ko ang call.
* Hindi kami pwedeng magtransfer sa India.
* I have nothing againts Indians or whatsoever.

I finally got a job yesterday. 7:00 pm ang final interview 1:30 a.m ako nakapag final interview. 2:00 contract signing. Eto pa ang nakakaloka, training agad ang ng 12:00 pm to 9:00 pm, kagagaling ko lang training actually. Inayawan ko tong account na ito dati, dahil sobrang stressful at queing. Kapit nako sa patalim, wala na akong choice. Di ko sure kung magtatagal ako ulit dito, I'll do my best. Para akong nagbibiyahe sa probinsiya sa layo. Hirap talagang kumita ng pera. Masasabi kong isa na akong certified call center hopper.

bad bird

Noong bata pa si Totoy Baliko; every summer sila nagbabakasyon nang mag-anak sa probinsiya, Masarap ang klima sa probinsiya, palibhasay nasa gilid nang mababang bangil ang bahay ng kanyang lolo't lola. Ang palikuran noon sa bahay na iyon ay nakahiwalay. Kailangan mo pang-pumunta sa likuran ng bakuran upang dumumi/umihi, yari lang sa tuyong dahon ng coconut at mga kawayan ang palikuran doon, kaya naman, madali kang mabobosohan. Takot si Totoy Baliko mag-punta doon, gawa nang lagi silang tinatakot magpipinsan na may aswang daw. Marahil nagsimula ang pananakot ng aksidenteng ma-shoot ang paa ng pinsan niya sa man-made inidoro. Nangyari ito nang minsan maglaro sila ng taguan.
Isang araw, nagising si Totoy Baliko at taeng-tae na.Gawain niyang tumae sa coconut shell or "Ba-O". Pasikat palang ang araw nun, Takot kasi siya dun sa palikuran, baka kasi pakitaan siya nung aswang. Ugali ni Totoy Baliko na Umebak sa likod ng bahay sa silong (Ilalim ng bahay, yari sa kahoy, kung saan may mga manok, pabo at itik.
Sa sobrang sakit ng tiyan ni Totoy ay dali-dali niyang inilabas ang mala-kremang niyang ebak na
gamit ang "Ba-O". Tuluyan niyang hinubad na ang bahagya niyang naka-babang salawal at itinabi.
Sarap na sarap si Totoy sa pag-gawa ng yema.
Biglaan na lamang may kumalmot sa likod no Totoy Baliko, napasubsob si Totoy sa lupa, explose ang puwet niya sa attacker, na isa palang Tandang na Pabo (Turkey). Walang magawa si totoy baliko kung hindi magtatakbo ng walang salawal sa bakuran habang hinahabol ng pabo.

Hangang ngayon ay, nakatungtong parin sa kubeta si Totoy Baliko pag umi-ebs, Hindi niya feel umupo at isayad sa toilet bowl ang puwet niya. Mas suwabe kasing tumae pag nakatungtong ang paa.. Parang sausage ang labas nito at masarap sa pakiramdam.

cat food

Umuwi muna parents ko sa province. Hindi ako nakasama kasi baka kung anong mangyari sa bahay. Yung kapatid kung bunsong babae na nagwowork na ay may pagkaburara at laging wala sa bahay at dahil hindi ako marunong magluto ay karamihan sa binili ko ay dilata, puro corned tuna. Maski kasi isang buong taon ako kumain ng corned tuna ay hindi ako magsasawa. Kung baga, isa akong pusa at yun ang catfood ko.

Papauwi nako, sabi ko na nga ba may nakalimutan ako. Itlog! Itlog ang nakalimutan ko!
Dumaan ako sa tindahan ng karne malapit sa amin.

[ daniel ]: Manong magkano itlog niyo?

* Humalakhak ang asawa ni Manong.

May masama ba sa tanong ko?

what the heck

Things are getting out of hand lately and it seems that I need to change career path. Landing a job in a call center seems to be impossible I'm not quite sure the exact reason, maybe they have developed a way to detect my past employments. I have bad records, imagine working in three call center in a year and no matter how I manipulate my resume it seems that they know what the truth is.

Things happen and you can never look back.

I've been almost suicidal because of that.

I seriously took in consideration on overdosing with sleeping pills,

Then I realize that I am a fighter.

I will fight no matter what.

rare form

Thank you po sa mga nag-comment : ) I'm sorry, I have to hide my pictures.

timberlake

Maski saan ako magpunta at maski sino pang makilala ko, pati na ang mga ex ko ay isa lang ang sinasabi, kahawig ko daw si Epi Quizon, well I'm flattered pero hawig lang naman at hindi ko naman completely kamukha, kaya naman palakpak tenga naman ako tuwing may magsasabi. Nagpapasalamat narin ako dahil mukha pala akong tao. Natatawa nga ako sa Mga kamag-anak ko sa probinsiya, kasi bago sumikat si Epi Quizon ay Dolphy ang tawag nila sa akin ( Batang Dolphy daw ). Noong highschool naman ay Dolphy rin ang bansag sa akin ng ilang classmate, ito rin ang bansag sakin ng mga true barkada ko. ( wow can you imagine ).

Sabi naman ni Bestfriend Dencio, kamukha ko daw si Sandara Park, nagmula yun nung minsang naginuman kami, nalasing ako, naging emotional over a break-up at napahagulgol. Hayop yan, naging Sandara Park pa.

Pangalawa si Justin Timberlake, may mga mangilang-ngilang tao na nagsasabi na kamukha ko daw siya. Siyempre sobrang flattered ako at humble na ngiti lang ang naisusukli sa mga pambobola nila.

Siyempre mas pipiliin ko na maging kamukha/kahawig si Justin Timberlake, super fan niya kasi ako.

Noong College ako ay sinubukang bumuo ng dance group ng isa kong kaklasemate. Kimuha siya ng apat na miyemro na payang mga goodlooking guys sa classroom namin. Isa ako sa napili niya. Pagkatapos ng isang dance practice ay nadisband ang grupo. Wala kaming lahat na time dahil sobrang busy

playa

Hirap nakong pumasok sa isang relationship because I find it hard to fall in love, gusto ko lang yung kilig na first part, then afterwards pag mediyo nagiging seriyoso na ay nawawala nalang ako ng parang bula. I'm not like this before, but somewhat over the years dahil narin sa dinami-dami ng heartache na pinagdaanan ko ay isang araw nagising nalang ako na ganito. Wala ng maramdaman, hindi na marunong magseryoso, manhid at walang pakialam.

Isang araw nagising nalang ako na......

Isa na akong Player....People do change.

same old problem

Things had been really difficult this year.
Aside from being overly unlucky with my career. I've been very unlucky with love, like I have been unlucky with it for all my life.
Worst of all, when it comes to health, I'm constantly suffering from a diseases. It never stops, According to the doctor I no longer have UTI, but I'm not convinced, I still feel something. Better have a second opinion soon. Just wondering how long will I write regarding this disease.

if walls could ever talk

( Walang kinalaman ang music video ni Celine Dion na " If walls could talk " sa post na ito.

Verse I

A wound is like a crack on a cement wall.

-Isang sugat ay parang isang basag sa isang sementong ding-ding

You can try to fix it , put something on it to conceal the damage

-Kaya mong tangkain na ayusin ito, lagyan ng kung ano upang ikubli ang sira.

but a damage is still a damage.

-Pero ang sira ay isa paring sira.

Underneath bitterness is the truth. No matter how its discretely hidden.

-Sa ilalim ng kapaitan ay ang katotohanan. Maski gaano mo pa ito itago.

The bitter truth remains.

-Ang mapait na katotohan ay nandiyan parin.

"Time heals all wounds they say."

-Pinapagaling daw ng oras ang mga sugat ang sabi nila.

It does, but only time can tell.

-Oo pero oras lang ang makapagsasabi.

- Daniel
Ano bang naisip ko at pinipilit ko pang magsulat ng tula may translation pa, natatawa lang ako sa sarili ko, para lang akong tanga.

Verse II


You can never teach/force a heart to love.
The heart has it's mind of its own.
It has it's own life.
Its makes the most irrational decision.
It makes the most righteous decision.
Its much powerful than the head.
You can question a heart over and over again,
but you could never win over it.
Acceptance is hard and that's what makes us bitter humans.

- Daniel

darker than black

Another chapter of my life have begun. I am a better, stronger person. I beginning to realize what I really want and do with my life and being evil is one of them. I am beginning to be true to myself. I will show every fucking person, who I really am.

I don't need anyone.
I will happily lurk in darkness forever.

The world is filled of evil people. You have to be one of them to beat them.
It's me, myself and no one else.

black swan

I'm a bad person, that's a dead giveaway. I rushed because of the intense emotion that I felt at that moment. You can call me any nasty name you wish.I wont fight back. You can punch me in the face. I deserve it. One thing is true, what I felt at those moment is true.
I did it because I didn't want to cause further damage. I stopped there because its the right thing to do.

You are special to me, that is true and hurting you is the last thing that I wanna do.

Its been five months since my last bad bad bad relationship. Ilang buwan kong tiniis na wala. Walang affection, walang maski ano and then you came, everything changed. Akala ko ito na ang break na hinihingi ko, mali pala at hindi pa pala ako ready.
Our lifestyle is different and sooner or later I might have done something that I might not forgive myself. I prevented that from happening, because I deeply care for you.

Hindi ako papalag sa lahat ng gusto mong sabihin. I deserve it. But one this is for sure. I am a very honest person and I don't deserve anything good and I'm just an existing joke, look at me.
One thing that I realized, is that I don't deserve to be happy. Never will, although I am trying hard. I'm one very nasty person and my feelings are very inconsistent.
I am a worthless piece of junk under a mountain of garbage.

I tried hard to change things, to change who I am. Guess some people don't change.
Like a wild horse, I will forever freely roam the realms of nothingness. I have become nothing only emptier, only worse.

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pointer

Isang mainit na tanghali noong December 2009 ay isinama ako at ang aking tiyahin ng aking Ina sa Recto. Upang mamili ng kanyang mga paninda. Business kasi ni Inay ang mag-lako ng silver. Kaya ako pumayag sumama ay dahil mamimili rin ako ng DVD cd's at tsinelas.

Iniwanan ko ang aking tiyahin at ina sa tindahan ng silver. Inaabot rin kasi ng ilang oras ang pag-pili ng mga ipaninindang silver. Habang ako ay naglalakad papunta sa mga bilihan ng mga DVD ay napansin ko na nagkukumpulan ang mga tao sa isang bahagi ng bangketa. Lumapit ako at umusisa. Mga tuta pala ang pinagkakaguluhan nila. Magaganda ang mga tuta at halatang half-breed. Matagal ko ng binabalak magkaroon ng sariling aso."Magkano po isa manong?"- ang tanong ko. "350 lang!".
Gusto ko ng bumili kaso nagdalawang isip ako. Naglakad ako palayo upang mag-isip. Mga ilang minuto ay bumalik. Inusisa ko isa-isa ang mga tuta. Lalake ang hanap ko, kasi babae na ang aso namin. Ngunit sa dinamidami nito ay iisa lang ang lalaki, ito pa yung pinaka hindi ko gusto, dahil mukha talaga itong ordinaryong aso sa lansangan ( eh di sana nanghingi nalang ako ). Sa kagustuhan ko ng lalaking aso at dahil hindi ako nandidiscriminate ng hayop, ay binuhat ko ito, at binayaran. "Thank you ha!" ang wika ni Manong.

Pag-balik ko sa tindahan ng silver ay wala ang tiyahin ko at Nanay. Umupo ako sa upuan sa labas habang hinihintay sila. Nilapag ko ang tuta sa sahig ng panandalian. Baka kasi nalalamog na. Maya-maya ay sumuka ito, at dumumi, Nataranta ako dahil sa mismong pintuan ito ng Shop Dumumi. Naawa sakin ang isang tindera ng damit sa harap ng Jewelry shop at binigyan ako ng Newspaper at ilang plastic bag. Nalagpasan ko naman ang trahediya.

Misteryo sa amin ang lahi ng aso. Hindi namin alam kung anong half-half siya.
Habang lumalaki siya ay patuloy parin ang kuro-kuro namin sa lahi niya. Lahat na ng lahi ng aso ay nabintang na namin sa kaniya. Lahat kasi ng nakakakita sa kaniya ay pinipintasan siya. "Panget daw siya"

From December 2009, ngayon ay June 2010 na. Anim na buwan na ang nakakalipas.
Patuloy paring pinipintasan ng kung sino sino ang aso ko.

Hangang noong isang araw, bumisita ang isang kabarkada ni utol at nakita ang aso ko.

Kahapon:
Utol: Hoy! Alam ko na ang lahi ng aso mo! Malamang ay halg siya ng....
Ako: Gago! Sinong niloloko mo! Hindot!
Utol: Halika tingnan mo ito.
*Ipinakita niya sakin ang isang larawan ng aso sa phone niya.
Utol: Pointer dog ang aso mo Tanga!

WIKIPEDIA:
The Pointer should be athletic and graceful. The immediate impression should be of a compact, hard-driving hunting dog, alert and "ready to let go." The primary distinguishing features of this breed are the head, feet, and tail. Hound or terrier characteristics are undesirable for show purposes.

Kaya pala hindi siya cute/maganda sa marami. Hindi pala siya pang show-dog.
Maski na ano pa ang panlalait na inaabot ng aso ko, at hindi daw siya cute/maganda ayon sa kanila.
Ang sa akin lang: Hindi talaga siya cute kasi GORGEOUS siya. Mana sa amo!

Halimbawa ng pointer dog:

candybling

Each time I purchase cigarettes at any convenience store, they always ask for my ID. No one can ever guest my exact age. No, I'm not a midget, I'm not short nor tall, just average. One time I was on this date, I was already 27 then, and my date was 5 years younger than me. When were entering the cinema and gave the ticket to the lady, She asked me for an ID. Wow! How convenient. The movie was R-18. "Drag me to hell".Looking really young has its pros an cons. And people tend to call you "Totoy", which for me is quite insulting because I feel old.

Pros:
You can get away with almost anything by just giving an innocent look, quite
( actually deceptive, but it works. )
You look even younger during the nightime.
Tendency to be popular. ( Either the wrong way or the right way )
Can get away with almost anything you wear.
Tend to be given lesser obligation, responsibility.

Cons:
Always being asked for an ID or any form of identification.
People tend to push you around.
Always underestimated.
People tend not to take you seriously.
mistaken as Pee Wee Herman, hmmm come to think of it, I kinda look like him.

I wonder if I gained some weight, will I look older? Believe me my younger brother who's now 27 and my sister now 20 looks much older than me. Strangers always mistaken me as the youngest. Well I don't really have an age secret in fact I tend to chain smoke at times, been smoking ten years now, and I'm planning to quit. well the truth is I tried to quit a million times.
I drink occasionally and when I do, I'll drink till' I drop. Once there was a Dutch man who thought that I was only 11 years old.

Key factors
- My body is underdeveloped
- I have a small face
- No eye bags or wrinkles
- Smooth. Hair rarely grows on my skin (exception of scalp).
- thin well defined eyebrows (natural)

*My fourth job- They called me Santino.
*My fifth job- They called me Baby James.

What's next?

I wonder where I enherited these genes, nope, not my mom nor dad's. Sometimes I think that there's something wrong with my genes, some kind of mutation. I really don't know If it's a gift or a curse. I learned to live with it anyways.

A 5 year old male cousin commented, saw me smoking:

"Hala bawal sayo yan, bata kapa"

My Aunt replied:
"Anong akala mo naman diyan sa kuya mo bata pa? Matanda nayan!"

-When I came back here in my current company a straight guy co-worker commented:
"Oh ba't parang lalo ka atang bumata?"

Haha Wat-Iber!

flower on a wheel

I felt something huge will happen I felt this a few days ago. I think I'm somewhat Psychic, kiddin'.

I would like to take this chance to take a long rest and hopefully, for my disease to finally be cured, then eventually head on a new direction, I would like to thank her majesty for the 2nd chance. I would like to thank you in so many ways unimaginable, I'm just so blessed.
I hope that the institution recovers in time.No need to to worry about me. I totally understand and things do happen.

There's no other way but to move forward.
Pyramids collapse, life begins even in the harshest conditions.
The sun will set, the moon will rise, the earth will remain unstable

But one thing will never change and that is I will forever be thankful for the blessings that you gave me.

i swear

Dude, I have nothing against you.
In fact I think you're a good person. I like you as a seat mate.
But I can't take this anymore. I have to do something about this or else i'll literally pass out.

Dude, when was the last time you visited the dentist? Are you aware that they already invented mouthwash?
Seriously dude I'm just 20 inches away from you and each time you breathe I smell that Septic tank fume. It could kill a Rat I swear. I cannot concentrate from time to time thinking of ways to cover my nose without you noticing. I don't want to offend you in anyway but *** this is too much! I'm considering wearing gas mask tomorrow, seriously.

When was the last time you visited the dentist my friend? Was it over a decade or never. Sometimes I can't eat because of that malevolent foul odor. It Really really stinks." Tol! Amoy Imburnal I swear!

I smoke a lot. But I see to it that I visit the dentist at least three times a year. Don't you know that extreme bad breath drives people away. I'm gonna trow up anytime. I can't breathe. *** Help me! So this is what it feels likes to be in a septic tank.

paranormal activity

Roy:Let's play a love game!
Roy:I miss my Teddy.
Roy: Sino ka?
*Mummified moments.
Roy: Pa-kiss naman! Can I lick your balls?
Roy: I want more you fuckers!
*May this Iguana finally rest in peace.

hit me baby one more time

Oh Baby Baby how was I Supposed to know that somthin' wasn't right here! My shift mates
Screamed my name at the top of their lungs.I stood there in the center giving my 101%, My voice were kinda cracking, thank goodness for Eco and the loud Videoke machine to cover my voice's imperfection. I owned the dance floor like a politician doing rounds one angle at a time to have connection with audience.
I know that I surprised them. They never thought that I have that confidence.
"Pero dinala ko sa stage presence upang ma-distract sila sa imperfection ng boses ko". It worked. You just need a bit of charm No matter what you look like and your all set.I was the last contestant. Some candidates were really good, one did an acoustic of "My Immortal" with guitars. One was a choir member who had been in several countries for choir competition. Mugen was there to witness everything.
Before the competition started, us contestants were all panicking because our
song piece were not in the songbook.We didn't expect that we would be using Magic Sing. We assumed that it would be a regular Videoke Machine. Majority of us
were asking each other who had any minus one tape/cd with them. None have.
Most of us didn't have a choice. I was so disappointed.After practicing "I believe I can fly" for a week. What a waste of time. At that moment, I realized that I'm taking the competition too seriously. I just might as well enjoy the moment. Since I already had two glasses of beer, its enough to give me a good start. "Bigla nalang akong tino-pak at napili kong kantahin ang song ni Britney Spears na "Baby one more time". I totally, proudly say that I rocked, Thank goodness someone took a video of that moment. "Those were the only moment in my life that I felt like a star". I am pretty much aware that it would never happen again. I never imagined that I in any way win, The amazing part is, I didn't even practice "Baby one more time" and it was "I believe I can fly" which I practiced for a week. Well I guess thanks for my tenor voice, I can hit such notes. Imagine Baby one more time, Boyzone version, Plus some mumbled words haha! That's how it sounded like. For the sake of being funny, I even changed some of the words, making Hit me baby one more time into Hit me baby several times!They taught it was really funny and there were some laughter recorded in the video.Thanks to my shift-mates for supporting and cheering.

However shallow it may sound. I felt like an American Idol that night.Never did
it crossed my mind that i would ever win. My main concern before the competition
was just simply to sing in tune.

forgiveness

My father and I, we argue a lot. But I love him and He cares for me, I can feel and see that, Our argument usually about his indulgence in alcohol. I remember vividly that I once called him "Alcoholic" in front of his drinking buddies during one of his drinking session. I have very sharp tongue when provoked and irritated. I can be extremely provoking at my worst. At that particular moment I grew tired of him, When hes in his drunk mode he goes crazy and curse/shouts at anyone he lays eyes on, often causing scandal in our neighborhood. My father is notorious in our community and I hate him for that. Whats really odd is he can't do that to us, his children, because hes aware that we would fight back. Well I proudly inherited this "War freak personality". I can proudly say that I am slowly evolving into a peaceful person. Day by day I'm learning to grow numb to such eye sore activities of his. No matter what conflict I have with my father, I can feel that he loves us and deeply care for us, After all we are his own flesh and blood. He often brag about us during his drunken moments with his buddies. He often brag that all of us were achievers, intelligent and hardworking, that's enough for me to forget and forgive his shortcomings. Misunderstanding within family members is normal, we just have to learn accept imperfection, whats important is we see love underneath the thick layer of conflict.


In my yearbook in college, I have dedicated my hard earned diploma to him. Although he never got the chance see my yearbook. I quoted: "Para sayo to Pa"

broke

The last time I checked my savings It almost brought tears to my eyes. A couple of hundreds left. What do I do about it? Questions such as, where did my hard earned money all these year go? You work hard, you do well & you play; In the end you get nothing for yourself. But, however my parents adore me, I am the eldest and they treat me as if I'm the youngest. My only prize for being a good noodle. Helping them makes me happy. The saddest part is all my prized possessions/All the stuff that I've ever invested in were en gulped by Terrible Ondoy. Sometimes when I stroll around, window shop, I find myself staring at things. I usually find myself thinking trice and going back and fort glimpsing. only to not avail of it in the end. " There's a lot of things to take care of (Bills). I hate the thought of having debt whether its mine or my parents.
I'm someday hoping that God will answer my prayers. I want to work abroad for me to build a house for me and my parents. Ideally somewhere in our province. Life is peaceful there. Things are illusive at this point but I am still hopeful. I want to have a shot to work abroad as a price for not having any successful relationship all of my life, I am not desperate I can wait forever until that rightful person comes, hopefully.

return to innocence

I have decided to reset my life. I've been dwelling on negativity for almost my entire life.
I want to cure/heal my self. I don't ever want to dwell on the pain of the past again, I want to remove all the negative energy that consumed me all these years. I have realized that its time to move on. I want be happy on what I have rather than what I can have. There's really no need to rush. Whats important is the present and the simple things that I should be thankful for. Looking around me, I realized that I have everything that I ever needed. Good friends, A large family, My dogs and of course, God Almighty.