Wednesday, May 5, 2010

forgiveness

My father and I, we argue a lot. But I love him and He cares for me, I can feel and see that, Our argument usually about his indulgence in alcohol. I remember vividly that I once called him "Alcoholic" in front of his drinking buddies during one of his drinking session. I have very sharp tongue when provoked and irritated. I can be extremely provoking at my worst. At that particular moment I grew tired of him, When hes in his drunk mode he goes crazy and curse/shouts at anyone he lays eyes on, often causing scandal in our neighborhood. My father is notorious in our community and I hate him for that. Whats really odd is he can't do that to us, his children, because hes aware that we would fight back. Well I proudly inherited this "War freak personality". I can proudly say that I am slowly evolving into a peaceful person. Day by day I'm learning to grow numb to such eye sore activities of his. No matter what conflict I have with my father, I can feel that he loves us and deeply care for us, After all we are his own flesh and blood. He often brag about us during his drunken moments with his buddies. He often brag that all of us were achievers, intelligent and hardworking, that's enough for me to forget and forgive his shortcomings. Misunderstanding within family members is normal, we just have to learn accept imperfection, whats important is we see love underneath the thick layer of conflict.


In my yearbook in college, I have dedicated my hard earned diploma to him. Although he never got the chance see my yearbook. I quoted: "Para sayo to Pa"

4 comments:

  1. as much as i would want to comment

    but the concept of 'family' has been very vague to me eversince

    i feel your pa is so proud to have you as his son, though he was not that open to the idea of expressing it

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  2. that's what you call tough love. i think i'm in the same situation so i can relate. pero nasa atin na lang ang pag adjust sa kanila kasi we understand them more than they understand us.

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  3. I think his drunkenness lies in his own frustration as a career person. The fact that he's proud of you, and the fact that he can't cuss you means that he values your success and achievement more than he would truly tell.

    Do you want me to link this blog instead, sis?

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  4. anteros: Yep, my relationship with him is very complicated. But I do love him. I just have to live with it : ) Thank u.

    advent: Eggzactly, I just wish magbago siya..maski kaunti lang.Thanks Mr.Cute guy.

    Mugen: Very well said. Idol talaga kita sis'
    Yep, please make this my primary blog : )

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