I think I have might figured it out. The past ten years of my live I lived in chaos. The chaos that I am referring to is not on my surroundings. The chaos is in me. I am a very pessimistic person. Being a pessimist may have saved me a lot of times. This year I will try my best to vanish all the negative thoughts that will cross my mind. It might be the hardest thing that I would do for myself but there's really no harm in trying. Maybe someday the stars will align for me, but of course its not all positive thinking. Thinking positively should always come with logic because for me logic runs everything. I must painfully confess that I have been living in bitterness and regret and as much as I want to live the ideal life, Its not going to happen, never will for my ideal life is too perfect. I have to learn to be happy and make the most of what I have for that is the only way to live. I need to let go of every negative thing that my past have inflicted on me. I just want a peaceful and happy life. For I have only one life and there's no more room for whining for all I do is make reklamo on almost everything with out doing anything and being extremely lazy which is very dangerous combination.
Just a crazy thought:
I want to be a good looking, smart filthy rich blonde in my next life.